Oh how I have missed talking to you. Emptying my mind and telling you how the Lord speaks in the midst of my crazy was my therapy. It was how I shared the good news I received in my time with the Lord.
So fast forward to now. My days are still crazy. I decided to take my own advice and Jump out of the safety of my boat! The Lord is showing himself faithful minute by minute. That's how I'm living life. Minute by minute. Taking one step and waiting for the Lord to tell me when to move again because if left up to me, I'd convince myself to run quickly in the wrong direction.
The reason I have been away for so long is that I've been in a place where I am being pulled in every direction and uncertain of my own abilities to manage them. It's been day after day waiting and receiving "daily bread." Everyday, the Lord has given me enough for that day. And when I open my eyes the next, I am grateful and wait for the day's direction
I have been fighting and resisting this place. Ugh! I need to KNOW! The human, independent, prideful part of me needs to know the layout and direction in full. Not in part!
Anyway...I digress!
See...I'm still crazy! :)
Remembering the instructions of Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and he will make your paths straight."
I have had several conversations with myself about being here a few times before. Back then I opted to get out of the water and back into my boat. The force of the winds and waves of life pushed me to focus on my own lack of strength instead of omnipotence of my God! So as I talk to myself, I remind me that I know all too well how it feels to walk in a false sense of security inside the familiarity of my boat. It's a place also known as fear. It robs you of experiencing the promises and purpose that the Lord has so freely extended. Fear doesn't allow for anything but limits you in everything. I am very familiar with this place of emptiness and regret.
NOT THIS TIME!
Have you been there? Or are you here with me? Waiting. Wondering. Not knowing how or when? Have you been or are you in that place where the Lord is showing you that your time frame is not His? Is he demonstrating that you are limited by time but he is eternal?
Are you being reminded that He is in control and not your desires? Is he teaching you to sift your desires through his word?
As I lamented about the winds and rain outside of the boat, I was swiftly reminded that this is the place where He wants us. Total dependence on Him. Not on our own abilities and fears. This is where He teaches us his priorities as we abandon our own. We learn patience, courage and his goodness.
I want to encourage you as I encourage myself.
It's in this place that we see the magnificence of a God who wanted us even when we didn't want him.
"In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us." I John 4:10
I am overwhelmed that he wants us to know Him:
"God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us." Acts 17:27.
I am humbled that the God of the Universe wants us to come closer. The more he pulls the more we reach.
So with tear stained faces, we exhale, unclench our fists and we wait in the water. Not because we are confident in ourselves and our waiting. But we are confident in the One whom we are waiting on! The One who has the power to calm the winds and waves. He is the same One who placed that power in us! He wants to lead and guide us to the place that he has appointed just for us.
Go ahead. Look around. This is not a place of fear and worry. It's a place where the Providence of God reigns. This place where he prepares us in humility to depend only on Him!
Rest in Him.
Trust Him fully.
He is ABLE!
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
And the comfort in all of this is that we may not understand why we wait but we don't have to wait alone.
He is Here!
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
Blessings!
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