Have You Made It?

I’m here to let you in on something. I’ve recently come to a realization that I need to share.  I need to say this but you need to hold on to your seat.  When I found out, I almost fell out of my chair. My heart dropped and I couldn’t believe that I fell for it.  I’ve been around for years and I can usually figure things out. But this one…

Are you ready?

Ok…

There is no place!

You know the place we are working all day to arrive.  It’s the destination where all things are wonderful. I’m not talking about Heaven. I’m talking about here on earth.  It’s where we have enough in our bank accounts. We drive the right car and have the right amount of bedrooms. Our children understand and accept our discipline. They make smart choices and apply the discriminatory thinking that we have been pouring into them since the age of 1. They love Jesus and are living their lives for Him.

In this place our marriages are perfect.  We finally communicate successfully and both feel fully supported and appreciated. Work outside and inside the home is equally shared. We are completely satisfied in our singleness and we have conquered loneliness and all struggles. 

We are the perfect size for clothing and we have the right hair products. Great hair day is every day. Amen!

We pray for an hour a day, have a deep connection with the Lord, and can hear him in all we do. We have figured out our purpose and we are fully engaged in carrying out His plan.

You know the place.

That’s what we are working for. We are constantly praying and fasting for our arrival. We fight our spouses for this haven. We yell at our kids for this. We read books and seek advice from the experts who say they know how to get there. There are shows, movies and podcasts that give us steps on how to make it.  We want our family and friends to validate for us that we are well on our way.

What if there isn’t such a place?

I know. It's hard to take in! 

What if this is about the journey and not the destination? What if it’s about how you live now as opposed to how you will live when you get there?

What if it’s about your compassion?  Love?  Forgiveness?  Patience?

What if it’s about your love for Jesus? Sharing Him through your actions when you have not arrived or when you have nothing or everything?

What if it’s about how you love those who you or society defines as unlovable?

What if it’s about how you pray for others?

What if it's about how you treat your loved ones?

What if it’s about how you care for the sick or feed those who are hungry?

What if it’s about how you stand up and not be ashamed for what you believe and how you live?

What if it’s about humility?

What if it's about grace and not entitlement?

If so, have you made it?

Blessings!

All rights reserved. copyright 2015 www.shundriariddick.com 

Re-Define!

Where do your beliefs come from?

The importance of our childhood is often overlooked.  The saturation of pop psychology in our society has made us incurious and negligent regarding the events or situations that assembled who we are and what we believe. Nonetheless, our childhood is what gave us our infrastructure in which we shaped our lives.

The presence of both parents or the absence of one consigned to us our philosophy of love and marriage. Their attendance, or lack thereof, and quality of participation dictated our theory regarding faith, self,  relationships, commitment, responsibility, and work to only select a few.

Our home environment, family relationships, culture, traditions, entertainment and more during our formative years have remarkably influenced how we live our lives as adults. These experiences guide us in making from the least and trivial to the most significant decisions in our lives.

For example, if we experienced the divorce of parents at the age of 9, we form ideas regarding men, women, commitment and marriage.  As adults, even though we have greater aptitude and competence, we typically do not change these ideas. Instead of challenging these conclusions, we continue to make adult decisions in these areas with a 9 year old's understanding and feelings.

Many of us are continuing to live our days through our limited views as children.

Wait...

I'm not saying that every aspect of our childhood has to be viewed differently. Many of us had great experiences in our homes and with our families. The commitment and love of my family have shaped the structure of my home today. However, I'm emphasizing that some of our most difficult issues currently are a result of earlier mishandled experiences and decisions.

But God!

Re-Defining these experiences through God's Word is essential in healing and living out an abundant life in Jesus Christ!

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14 

Whatever situation or circumstance we were born in, left in, or given, we are purposed in being here.

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them". Ephesians 2:10

And BLESS the Lord for this!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Thank God that our value is not evidenced in how we were treated. Nor is it placed in our circumstances or descriptions given by others.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1 

At some point we need to challenge our beliefs about faith, love, life, relationships, marriage, self-worth, success, etc. We need to question those ideas that were formed on the frailty of human behavior and the restricted comprehension of a child. Unfortunately, some of our current arduous situations are dictated by these ill formed axioms.

We need to abandon any theory or definition that is not from God and embrace our identity and purpose in Him!

What do you believe?


Blessings!


copyright 2015 www.shundriariddick.com  All Rights Reserved

Fact, Fiction, and Feelings!

We have something to talk about.

I mean we are in desperate need to get something straight!

Being a counselor, I have the privilege of serving people.  I am humbled by this opportunity to walk with others during difficult seasons and am in awe of God's grace and love for us. I mention that because I have been serving in this capacity for 13 years and have served many people from many walks of life. I've heard many things and have seen many faces.

I have one question. 

What is going on?

We've been hoodwinked!  Bamboozled! Lied to! Deceived!

How?  Our Feelings or Emotions!

I wonder what you are feeling right now. At this moment. What are they saying to you?

Me?

I'm feeling bored, therefore, I'm hungry. Seriously.  I love food and I love to eat.  Sorry Oprah and Dr. Phil! I am an emotional eater. Food makes me happy.  Because of this, I get up at 4:30 in the morning to exercise. (There's always a price isn't it?!)

I'm asking about your feelings because we are being led by them. We are making life decisions on them. We are raising our kids with them. We are choosing our mates with them. We are choosing our wardrobes with them! YIKES!

And because of this we are CONFUSED! Why? Because feelings change.

Wait. Clarity: Emotions are not wrong. They are important, created by God, and should be used wisely. However, they have no intellect. All they do is react. They will react to a lie like they react to the truth. They react to things that are not real in the same manner as though it is reality. They are the response not the thought!  They must always be second. Not first!

Proverbs 28:26  "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered." 

Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and is exceedingly corrupt. Who can know it?"

When we react in emotions, we often end up saying or doing things in error and then we regret. Our feelings get stirred up and drown out God's voice and His insight.  As a result, we make commitments we shouldn't make. We quit things in which God wants us to remain involved. We are confused about our destiny and purpose. We say things that damage people and relationships.  We have emotional experiences, make decisions, and live with the life long consequences. Daily. (Can I get a witness?!)

So what now? What do we do? How do we filter our emotions?

Our feelings are based on our beliefs. What do you believe? What is your source of truth. It CANNOT be you! It must be the Word of God!

What does God's word say about it? Yes I will always go back to Him and His word. That's all I have! I can't give you my thoughts. I have issues too! I laugh, cry, want to be alone, and with everybody in 30 minute increments 1 or 2 weeks of every month!  (Forties!)

Psalm 119: 105 "You word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."

I want to encourage you (and me) to stop submitting to your emotions. Stop depending and placing more value on how you feel rather than the Word of God. Make His word priority over your feelings. Believe what the Bible says! It is real. It is truth. It is relevant.


Blessings!




copyright 2014 www.shundriariddick.com All rights reserved.

Marriage Grace

It's been two weeks since my last post and it felt like one! I'm so serious. Where did the time go?!

Last week my man and I celebrated 17 years of marriage and our first born's 13th birthday! It was a whirlwind of a weekend! In the midst of celebrations, we had football games and mariachi performances! On our anniversary we were serving nachos in the concession stand of a football game. This is my life.

Seventeen years! Wow! I can't believe I'm old enough to have done anything consistently for 17 years. It's been a winding wonderful road.  I've been asked "If someone could have said one thing to you before you got married, what would it have been?" My answer "Buckle up!"

August 24, 1996

It's been a ride. Highs have been high and lows have been low. I look at those faces 17 years ago and think "clueless!" Ha! We loved each other don't misunderstand. But neither of us knew the depth of love and sacrifice we were about to embark upon. We didn't know.

I am so glad that the Lord kept us and still holds us. If it were left up to us we would have driven this thing into the ground. We had so many personal obstacles, unreasonable expectations, and worldly views of marriage. By the absolute Grace of God we are still together and have the privilege of encouraging others in their marriages! To God be the Glory...

This isn't a post about how wonderful marriage has been. It has been that. We've shared so many incredible years. My husband can still walk into a room and take my breath away! It's not about how hard it's been. It has been that. We don't have the time to even begin! :)

This post is about Grace in marriage. In spite of everything we've been through, Grace kept us. It loved us. It carried us. When we wanted to walk away, it reminded us of the covenant we made with God and each other. When we laughed through great times, Grace strengthened us. Grace is for us. 

If I could say anything to encourage someone in marriage it would be:

• It's not always fair, Don't expect it.
• You may give more one season and your spouse may give more the next.
• Only Christ can complete you, not your spouse.
• Love is sacrifice not a feeling.
• Walking in your Role is important. Know it.
• God's Word is the authority not your feelings.
• Arguing is healthy.
• Making up is even better.
• Laugh together.
• Hold hands.
• Forgive like you want to be forgiven.
• Accept that your spouse's weaknesses are different than yours
• ALWAYS PRAY TOGETHER
• Love your kids but never before your marriage (Your marriage is their foundation.)
• Live your life understanding that a Godly healthy marriage and a healthy family are the enemy's biggest threats. YOU ARE KINGDOM BUILDING! He wants your marriage and your children broken. He is your enemy not each other.
• Marriage still works!

I'm looking forward to many more years with this man! We often say that no one else is crazy enough to be with us. So we might as well be together!

17 years later!
Happy Anniversary Honey!

Blessings!

copyright 2013 www.shundriariddick.com All Rights Reserved. Images for this blog only.