A Mom's Day Off

We Americans took this day to observe Memorial Day. My family and I remembered those who died in active service for our country. We honored their memory, prayed for their families and celebrated those who continue to serve. 

I want to take this time to say "Thank You" to those who have made this day possible. Thank you to those who have sacrificed in their service in defense of our country. Because of their bravery, I can have days like these.that are filled with freedoms that we often take for granted. 

Thank You!

As I looked forward to a day of honoring  I was among those who looked forward to a day of rest and relaxation while away from work.

When I fantasized about the day I thought of great food on my brand new grill. I imagined friends over and kids playing. I couldn't wait for this day home from work. I had Pinterest dreams of red, white and blue food on a red, white and blue table being eaten by my family wearing red, white and blue.

And then came reality!

It was a great day! I enjoyed my family. It was a day of wonderful food. But I cooked it!  I chopped, seasoned, grilled and barbecued. I baked a cake and made cookies.  Well, the cake was from a box and the cookies were pre-cut. But that's irrelevant! I added the ingredients and placed them in the oven. At any rate, this was not a part of my fantasy! It skipped the work. I don't think I had anything  red, white and blue. I smelled like smoke and so did everyone else. My kids were just happy they didn't have school.

I wish I could say that my table looked like this:

www.stonegableblog.com

It did not. This is actually a pin I found on Pinterest. My actual table was complete with paper plates and mismatched cups because my day off included dishes! Yes that's right. Someone has to wash that beautiful place setting and linens. Today it was not going to be me. (Let the church say "Amen!")

My recipes were too complicated and so was my new grill.  I forgot to get mint for the homemade lemonade. I rubbed my eyes after stuffing jalapenos. Then I remembered that I was the only one who even liked stuffed jalapenos. So I served soda, bottled tea and eventually just wrapped everything in bacon and called it a day! Yes I even wrapped the asparagus. (don't judge me!)  Everybody likes bacon.

Today I:
cooked breakfast
cleaned after breakfast
prepped food for grilling and barbecuing
grilled and barbecued
fed my family
cleaned the grill
*my wonderful man did dishes
baked a cake
baked cookies
had an unexpected guest (glad it was a close friend because the house is scattered due to us painting)
went shopping for my kid's science project
washed and twisted my daughter's hair (this process took 3 hours)
wrote post on blog!

I did all of this and then felt guilty because I did not:
grocery shop for the week
prepare lunches
get kids ready for the week
finish work I brought home
help fold the laundry in the baskets
clean bathrooms
run at least 3 miles
remember everything that goes on the list!

All of this going on while I settled arguments, listened to my son's guitar solos, proofed my daughter's writing and kissed my youngest son's knee that needed a skate board band aid for the 3rd time in three days.

It was exhausting and I need a day off from my day off!

I know I am not alone. I know my fellow Moms and others who care for loved ones understand and agree with this misuse of the word "off."

Please know that I'm not complaining. I actually enjoyed cooking and spending the day with my family. I just don't want it to be confused with a day off!


Blessings and Laughter!


"Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time" Proverbs 17:22 (GNT)


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Hello?! Are you there?

Do you ever feel like God is ignoring you?

I remember growing up and hearing the song "Jesus is on the main line, tell him what you want!" I loved that song as a little girl. I remember daydreaming about picking up the phone and actually being able to talk to God. I would get so excited about having the privilege of God wanting to speak with me. One of my favorite lines in the song was "The line is never too busy, tell him what you want!"

Well I'm not a little girl anymore and although I have grown and understand that the whole song is not about a phone call but praying, it still doesn't dismiss the fact that sometimes it feels like when I call him it goes to voicemail. It feels as if he is either blocking my calls or he sees that it's me and pushes ignore!

Surely, I'm not the only one!  I am completely aware that my feelings are just that. Feelings. Without reason or intellect, feelings are purely chaotic and capable of ruining the best of relationships. So I know that he's not putting me on his "do not call" list. But it sure feels like something is NOT going on.

No answers.

No direction.

No "ah ha!" moments after the Sunday sermon or quiet time.

Nothing. Silence.

It's usually during these times when you hear others talk about all of the amazing things happening in their lives. They are sharing about how God is answering their prayers. You've heard the testimonies of how they were down to their absolute last and someone sends them a check that pays their bills and sends their children to college for free.  All 8 of them. Oh and the one about how they were without work and while they were in the grocery store they held the door for an older lady. She thanked them and mentioned that she happened to own a Fortune 500 company and hired them to a very lucrative position.

I know I'm exaggerating (and laughing) but it sure seems that way when you are hearing NOTHING!

I have and am in the midst of one of these seasons in my life. I have questions and situations before the Lord and I'm hearing *crickets.*  I have what I feel are urgent needs and am getting no response.

Too many times our tendency is to go negative and ask "why me?" We wonder if we have disappointed him or if he's angry with us.  Sometimes in our urgency we may attempt to manufacture his voice by convincing ourselves that what we want is what he wanted to happen anyway. "I feel it. It must be true!"

I don't have your answer. I don't even have mine but maybe he is speaking through the silence.

Maybe he's saying that he wants us to trust and believe in what he has already said. We have to go back to his word.

Maybe he's saying wait while he's working it out for us.

Maybe he's saying no because he has something better.

Maybe his reasons for not speaking to us are as mysterious as he is!

"Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, So you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does." Ecclesiastes 11:5

Whether he answers to our approval or not, we can always rest in the fact that he is in control.

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10a

Or what if it is as simple as he IS speaking and WE have to be silent?

Blessings!


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I'm Glad Mother's Day is Done

Fourteen years ago I whispered those words. 

My husband and I got the news that we were expecting a baby and our life immediately changed. We were so excited about our expanding family. We began planning and talking about how life would be different. We discussed moving, schools, careers etc. We were anxiously awaiting the birth of our daughter Grace. We couldn't wait to meet her. At 22 weeks, I went to the doctor and was immediately taken to the hospital. I was told that my daughter was coming sooner than we anticipated. We prayed, cried and prayed more. How could this be happening? At that moment, everything we thought was real was questioned. We were thrown into a world that we didn't know existed. A world where pregnancy didn't mean a healthy baby. Our precious daughter died at birth. We held her in our arms as she fought to breathe with her underdeveloped lungs. Our hearts were beyond broken. Words cannot express the agony of losing a child. We buried our baby and prayed for restoration.

Seven months later I was pregnant again. At 19 weeks I was again placed in the hospital. For three weeks I prayed that our son Caleb would be born. This time we were hopeful. We were sure that it wouldn't happen twice. Of course, this time would be different. At 22 weeks, our sweet Caleb died in our arms at birth. Our world went silent. 

For years, we prayed and mourned the loss of our children. 

Of course many days after were tough. Mother's Day was especially difficult. I didn't know how to answer, "Are you a Mom?"  I didn't know how to respond to "Happy Mother's Day!" It was not a happy day. I was a Mom but I wasn't a Mom. I was a mother by definition but I was not a mother by experience. Seeing other Moms with their children was hurtful. Pregnant women were painfully obvious. I was broken. I couldn't wait for the day to end. My challenge was just to traverse the day.

I want to dedicate this post to those who have done the same. 

This is for the women who hope they are not asked if they are mothers. It's to those who don't know how to answer "How many kids do you have?"  It's to my sisters whose hearts are aching and arms are empty. It's to those who have experienced stillbirth and to those who have had one or multiple miscarriages. It's for Moms who have suffered Perinatal, Postnatal or Neonatal death.

I prayed for you on Mother's Day. I prayed that the Lord would comfort you. I prayed that you were surrounded by those who love you and are walking with you during this difficult season. I also prayed that he shields your heart. I prayed that the loving intent of comfort from those around you was received. I prayed that you extended grace to those who may not have understood your pain. I prayed for you if you felt ignored or forgotten.  I prayed that the Lord would calm your heart's ache and wipe away your tears.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

I can't answer the question "Why?" But I know from experience that God is faithful. He restores. He comforts. He heals. 

In 2000, 2001 and 2007 the Lord answered our prayers. He was gracious and gave us 3 wonderful children. I am overwhelmed by Him.  

Mother's Day 2013

I don't know how or when He will answer. But I know He will.  He'll come. I can't guarantee what His answer will be but his Grace is sufficient. 

I am praying for you.


Blessings

The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!'
The LORD is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD.
For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love."
Lamentations 3:22-26; 31-32 (NLT)


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Bananas and Mustard

Trip to the Zoo!

The world according to NoNo, my 6 year old, is interesting.  Recently at a cookout we had a conversation that went like this:

Me: Do you want mustard?

NoNo: Mom you know I don't like bananas.

I didn't know exactly how to respond.  He was very serious.

My daughter: Mustard doesn't come from bananas!  

NoNo: Heelloooo...they both are yellow!

Of course after a few seconds of complete confusion, we all laughed!

This is just the latest of the reasoning and logic from my sweet boy.  On a much anticipated school trip to the zoo, he explained that flamingos are noisy because they are telling jokes and laughing. He sees that clouds are white and fluffy, so they must taste like ice cream.  Peas are not his favorite and to avoid eating them he explains that they make him "fall down on the floor" or faint.

He takes his small amount of  knowledge and fills in the holes with imagination. He is not aware of all of the information that he does not know and  has yet to be exposed. Simply put, he doesn't know what he doesn't know. He makes many imaginary conclusions when explaining his world.

As I have these conversations with him, I can't help but think that we do the same thing with our world. We take the little knowledge we possess and fill in the holes with whatever makes us feel good.  We avoid indulging in God's word to know His truth.  Is it possible that we don't seek his view because it may shut down ours and we would then have to be held accountable to another standard? We stand by this misinformation to the point that we ferociously defend it and attack those who question. 

 ^"Don’t fool yourself. Don’t think that you can be wise merely by being up-to-date with the times. Be God’s fool—that’s the path to true wisdom. What the world calls smart, God calls stupid. It’s written in Scripture: He exposes the chicanery of the chic.

The Master sees through the smoke screens

  of the know-it-alls." I Corinthians 3:19 (The Message)

NoNo is 6 and eventually his world of superheros, talking animals and happy endings will fade. Mustard will come from mustard plant seeds and clouds will be a visible mass of liquid droplets or frozen crystals. His imagination will be replaced with reason and more information. Like many parents, his father and I are

trying to  make sure that he fills in his lack of understanding with a knowledge that results from transitioning into the truth of God's word and finishing his homework!

What are we doing to fill in the holes of our lack of knowledge? How do we explain our world? Wouldn't it be a tragedy that as we got older our lives continue to be governed by our imaginations and the fickleness of our feelings? 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

By the way, NoNo still has to finish his peas. He hasn't fainted yet. :-)

Blessings!




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It Was So Worth It!

I say to my husband, "That was fun!"  "Yes it was!" he responds. We both smile and state "It was so worth it." 

Let me explain.

We decided to get season passes to a nearby water park a few years ago. It was an expensive decision. Especially for a family of five!  Each year we wait until the kiddos come home from their last day of school and surprise them.  They squeal with excitement every time! We spend the summer packing them in the van and spending about 4 hours in water each visit. They have a blast. My husband and I always look at each other and say "That was fun! It was so worth it!"

Seventeen years ago, "That was fun and it was so worth it!" meant something completely different.  It meant concerts in the parks, dinner with live jazz, dancing, festivals, dinner with friends and nice quiet evenings at home.  It didn't include kid music concerts, little league football, cheer, water parks, snack bags or games of tag.  It was just the two of us enjoying each other.

Fast forward to now...

Don't get me wrong. We still love those "2 people no kids" activities and could use more of them. However, it's amazing how our hearts have been transformed.  Life moves and our desires change. Same words different meanings. 

Of course we don't enjoy being in the heat, batting flies, or putting on swimsuits! Ha! But we LOVE seeing the excitement in our kids' eyes. How could we love these little kids who fight, leave messes, break things, disobey and are at times unappreciative?  We get excited to get involved in activities that are of no benefit to us but are completely about blessing them. They are ours and it's about our love for them. It's worth the time, cost and sacrifice.

I get it...

Reminds me of my Father in Heaven.  How can he love us? We are people who fight, leave messes, break things, disobey and are many times unappreciative. He continues to bless us just because he is good. He loves seeing us smile, blessing us and keeping us close! We are his and its about his love for us. 

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11 (NIV)

Our limited parental love cannot be compared to our Lord's limitless love for us. It overwhelms my heart to think that the Lord gave (cost) his life (sacrifice) for us and through grace tells us daily:

 "I love you. It was so worth it."

Blessings!

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5 (NIV)

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Crying with a Loaf of Bread Under Your Arms!

I’ve always loved to eat. I’m definitely an emotional eater because food makes me happy.  I make no apologies for that either. As I ate dessert recently, my mind went back to a time when I spent a Sunday afternoon with my second family, the Boyds and Reads.  My friend Sharissa and I have been friends since the day I knocked on her dorm room door over 20 years ago and introduced myself.  Imagine that! We were instant buddies.  She often invited me on weekends and holidays to spend time with her family.  We spent one day at her grandparents, Granny and Daddy Bob's home.  Her family reminded me so much of my own.  They loved each other and enjoyed getting together every Sunday.  This particular day her sweet grandmother made a peach cobbler.  It was so good I almost cried!   The peach cobbler was amazing but that wasn't the only thing that got my attention.  It was the fact that the pan was empty and still warm! Yes we ate it all before it got a chance to cool off!

I am so grateful for that wonderful family and the memories I have with them. I think of them and that day often.  I want my family to enjoy my food and each other but that’s not why that day stays with me.  I remember it as I examine my walk with the Lord and spending time in his Word. With the word of the Lord being my bread, am I as eager to devour?  When it is laid before me, do I take it in? Do I crave God’s word? Do I long to sit at the table and feast with Him?

My mother had a saying when I was younger.  When I complained about not having something or wanting something more, she would say “You are crying with a loaf of bread under your arms!”  Meaning, I already had provision with me. I already had everything I needed. The word of the Lord is our provision. It is constantly with us. It is everything we need.  

Do we indulge? Or do we cry with this bread tucked under our arms?  When we hear it, do we voraciously take it in? Or do we treat it as day old bread? 

Are we truly in love with God's word?

In the Bible, love is equated with sacrifice and giving. 

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." 

Ephesians 5:2 "and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

What do we sacrifice or give up to spend time in God's word? Sleep? Television? Computer? Facebook?  

We love what we sacrifice for. What do you love?

Granny has since gone home to be with the Lord, whom she loved most. I think about her sweet smile often. I am still trying to make her peach cobbler! I'm not quite there but I'm sure she would be proud!


Blessings!

"When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name,  Lord God Almighty." Jeremiah 15:16

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Pizza, Storms and Promise

Every Friday night at our home is family night.  Our night includes pizza, movie, popcorn and dessert.  The most exciting for my children is eating in front of the TV. This Friday was no different.   I sat holding my 6 year old as he gave several kisses and told me that he loved me. I attempted to pay attention to the constant ramblings of my 11 year old, while at the same time listening to the questions of my inquisitive 12 year old.  All of this happening as my husband Chris was able to pay full attention to the movie. 

Then I remembered.  THIS WAS ON MY PRAYER LIST! It was this exact moment.   I remembered when I held my baby Grace as she took her last breath.  I remembered asking if I would ever hold a baby again. Shortly after, I held my baby Caleb as he took his last breath.  I wondered if I would ever hear my own baby’s cry or see the color of their eyes.  I remembered praying for the blessing of children.  I remembered my husband and I fasting for a family.

While holding my 6 year old, I thanked God because this was my answer. Without whispering a word I thanked Him in my soul.  I thanked Him for his faithfulness. It was because of His goodness. Not my own. Many times I doubted Him.  It was because of his faithfulness. Not my own. Many times I wanted to give up.

I think we can get so busy and caught up in our lives that we forget that we are functioning in the favor of God.  We are walking in the results of our wailing before Him.  It’s the place where God’s goodness engulfs us.  He is so good at it that we miss the transition from the raging of a storm to the saturating rain of him fulfilling a promise.  How he loves us!

It reminds me of Mark 4 when Jesus was asleep on the boat during the storm.  He calmed the storm and the apostles were so focused on him calming the storm that they did not realize that they were in the midst of a promise. They were still passing over to the other side.

I thank him for answered prayer.  I am in constant awe of his goodness, kindness, faithfulness and his unimaginable love.  Bless his Name!

Blessings!



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